the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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