found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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