Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
