seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize