i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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