this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he thought i was a dude.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
