you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
