we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
