Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
