Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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