I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
