I have demons in me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
