i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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