i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
