I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
