I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize