found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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