too bad you live with your parents still
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
