dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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