my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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