Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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