well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize