i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
