People in love make me want to vomit
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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