I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
