Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
