For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
