He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My bed is full of blood and feathers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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