my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
