I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
