Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
