I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
