I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize