I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found puke in my bra..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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