the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
