she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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