yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
