U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
