so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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