I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
