why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
