whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
barbara walters just said penis...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
