Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
