I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
