An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize