All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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