Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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