can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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