Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize