i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
