Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
