dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
