I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
