um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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