when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
