Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
