You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize