it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You took a bar mat shot.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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