There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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