butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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