Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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