dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
