My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
